I love that he apparently got the job because he looked so pathetic that children truly believed he would be unable to solve puzzles created by a cartoon dog without their assistance.
kids really said “i can fix him”
7-11 CLERK: lovely day outside, isn't it
ME: uhhh
ME INTERNALLY: shit. I didn't notice. How do I continue this conversation
MY INNER MONOLOGUE: Service workers love it when you tell them the things mortal men were not meant to know, when you speak to them of principalities and powers upon the earth
ME: In the sun a wheel, in the wheel another wheel. Do you see?
7-11 CLERK: Yes, I see!
ME: For each turn of the outer wheel, one thousandth a turn of the inner wheel. And within the inner wheel a point of perfect darkness
7-11 CLERK: Right, growing, devouring. The death of all light
ME: Wanes the light - right - wanes the light and waxes the solar eye. Wanes the day of flesh and blood and waxes the night of crawling beasts. Chewing and swallowing. The name of the night to come is khoshek ha-gibbor
7-11 CLERK: Is that hot dog a quarter pound big bite or a spicy bite. They're priced different
ME: Which one is cheaper
peribytes